The secret to midlife orgasms? A sexual intimacy coach! Women in their 50s and 60s are turning to male sex experts to diminish the ‘pleasure gap’ – as one says he has three to four clients a week
- More midlife women are hiring male intimacy coaches, reports The Telegraph
- One coach says he sees three clients weekly, ranging from 50s to 20s in age
- He said it isn’t unusual for the women to have never experienced an orgasm
More midlife women are turning to male sexual intimacy coaches to help them achieve orgasms, according to experts in the field.
Women in their 50s and 60s are hiring somatic therapists for one-on-one experiences, or to attend their workshops, in order to diminish the ‘pleasure gap’, according to The Telegraph.
The ‘pleasure gap’ refers to the deficit in the number of orgasms women experience compared to their male partners and is explored in Emma Thompson’s new film, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande.
The critically praised movie shows Thompson playing a middle-aged widow who employs a young male sex worker, Leo, after suffering through a boring marriage with didn’t bring much climactic enjoyment.
And it seems that happens in real life too; one man who works in the sexual intimacy field, 33-year-old Sebastian Wright, told the publication that he sees three to four clients a week, ranging in age from their late 50s to their early 20s.
More midlife women are turning to male sexual intimacy coaches to help them achieve orgasms, according to experts in the field. Pictured, Emma Thompson’s new film, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande
He explained that it isn’t unusual for the women contacting him to have never experienced an orgasm.
Wright undertakes escort assignments and also practises as an ‘intimacy and sexual skills coach’ – with his sessions varying from a few hours to a week.
He said: ‘You need to get a bit of background first, and what they’ve already tried, to get proper guidance. Challenges can be related to a specific stage in life.’
Wright also noted that some of his clients have experienced trauma or shame that creates a ‘roadblock’ in their bodies, while others who feared they had anorgasmia (the inability to achieve orgasm), simply needed to introduce foreplay into their lives.
The coach, who emphasised that fully informed consent is of the highest importance, added: ‘Slowing a woman down before arousal is massively important. They often feel awkward or ashamed of their body.’
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande shows Emma Thompson playing a middle-aged widow who employs a young male sex worker, Leo, after suffering through a boring marriage with didn’t bring much climactic enjoyment
Some of his clients also feel they have become too reliant on sex toys or pornography to help them reach their climax and want Wright’s help to step away from those forms of stimulation.
Revealing why he picked this job, he said: ‘The world of non-monogamy was in line with my curiosity; the more I experienced it, the more I loved it. I wanted to apply myself and learn about the sexual intimacy coaching side of it.’
Meanwhile, Adam Wilder who is a ‘champion of intimacy and human connection’ supports the idea of Dr Betty Martin’s The Wheel of Consent.
It explores that there are three parts to pleasure – the stimulus (the touch), the context (where and when) and the meaning (why and who is touching you) – and women need these three elements to be in harmony to experience climactic joys.
Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally as her character demonstrates the art of faking an orgasm
Wilder in 2012 created Shhh Dating, which is a speed dating company where talking is replaced by eye gazing and non-verbal connection games, and also shares his experience through workshops, retreats and events.
He said an increasing amount of women in their 50s and 60s have begun joining his sessions, with many having spent their whole lives caring for others instead of putting their needs first.
In his workshops, he concentrates on techniques and routines in which the idea is to slow down and start noticing sensations.
Elsewhere, the writer of Good Luck to You, Leo Grande told the publication that the character of Leo is based on real somatic therapists she encountered in Germany and Holland.